Jonny & Marissa

You know its time to go to the store...

2012-01-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

...When you cook yourself up a nice warm, salty bowl of 2 year old grits for breakfast.

...That looks like it belongs in a Kleenex... you know, going out, not in.

MMMMM. Bon Apetit!

New Years Resolutions, 30 Days at a Time

2012-01-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

I knew this guy in college once who had a roommate who was lactose intolerant. In order to better understand his roommate and his lifestyle, he decided to pretend he had the same problem. As far as I remember, he tried it for a month, and at the end was a far wiser guy...who still liked dairy.

Something about that experience inspired me, and I always had a secret desire to try it. I happen to be a certified, card carrying dairy addict though, so the timing never seemed quite right. Then, one day a few months ago, I found this TED talk:

Again I felt inspired, and just in time for the biggest goal setting day/week/month of the year! I made all my plans to go dairy free for 30 days. I figured that nothing much happens in January so that was a safe month to forgo cheese and chocolate and creamy soups and ice cream and pretty much everything delicious. And I am going to Hawaii at the end of the month which may have been a bit of added motivation... I even let my well stocked butter shelf (the one in the freezer as well as the one in the fridge) run out. That's when I knew I meant business.

January 1st rolled around. Breakfast, dairy free. Lunch, dairy free. Was I fasting? Well, maybe. Dinner? Hot dogs. Dairy free? Check. But then the sugar cravings started. That would have been okay if I had non-dairy sugar around, but I am a dessert snob and things that don't include chocolate or butter just don't make the cut.

So I decided that January would be "Write in your Journal for 30 Days" month instead.

:)

Dairy-free works better in the summer when there is fresh produce looking lovely all around you begging you to eat healthy anyway. The winter was made so that people could have an excuse to eat comfort foods. And just try to name a dairy free comfort food. There isn't one, told you so!

So I'll keep you posted on how July goes! :)

I am writing this to ask for ideas. I used my journal writing time last night to brainstorm a bit, and I have a nice little list going. But my brain thinks the way it always has, and likes and dislikes the same things it always has, and the ideas I came up with to stretch myself are a lot like the New Years Resolutions I have had and never kept my whole life. (I guess that's why we shorten the "Do" period and focus on 1 month at a time...you know, manageable chunks where the relief of going back to old habits is still in sight). Anyway, just wondering if anyone had any suggestions for me for things I could try doing (or giving up) for a month at a time.

Happy resolution keeping!

Bananas over Monkeys!

2011-12-31T00:06:00.000-08:00

Jack loves Henry...
But he REALLY loves LeRoy...

And we really love our Jack...And even though he is just 1 monkey...

Sometimes he feels like 10...

Softsoap

2011-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

The other day we were minding our own business relaxing at home. Jonny was working on his computer and I was doing dishes. Then we realized it was far quieter in the house than it should be when it isn't nap time. A little rustling noise alerted us of the whereabouts of a certain 2ft someone. We looked everywhere, but Jack was no where to be seen. We did find this little furry raccoon digging through our recycling though...

Just...Let...Me....See...Your...

2011-11-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

...Camera

Jack in Real Life

2011-11-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome to our normal life.

Sometimes Jack helps me with the laundry:

Sometimes I am a "bad" mom and I try to distract him with the TV

Sometimes we play dress-up and go on outings

Sometimes we take a bunch of pictures just cause I think my baby is super cute!

Sometimes Jack thinks brushing his teeth is the greatest thing on earth! That's usually when he gets to brush and not mom!

Sometimes Jack just needs a paci and any one will do...even if it isn't our favorite kind and he doesn't know how to suck on this one!

Sometimes my baby sleeps like an angel:

And sometimes he doesn't:

Sometimes Jack just sits around and cries all day

Sometimes Jack toddles around collecting things and I worry he will grow up to be a hoarder:

Sometimes Jack has dandelion hair:

Sometimes we play nice with our toys

And all the time I love my baby!

California Dreaming

2011-11-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

For my birthday we decided to take a very very fun weekend trip to Disneyland and the beach. Man, oh man was that a good idea!!!!! All of my pictures from the park are on my other camera, and they didn't turn out very well anyway, so just imagine all those perfect-people Disneyland ads you see, put our faces in, and voila! Just as accurate! We had a blast!!

My mom drove down from Vegas and we flew and met up at the hotel (no romantic birthday get-away for us!! ;) ) She shared her bed with Jack, since we didn't want to take the pack-and-play and she wanted extra cuddle time. She learned the hard way that Jack is not the best bed-mate! After a relatively sleepless night (thanks Jack), I was up at about 5am and as excited as a kid on Christmas morning! Jonathan and I packed up, ran to the store for cheap snacks, and hit the park while my mom took Jackson all day. What a nice break it was to spend all day with Jonathan doing whatever we wanted to together! We rode everything we wanted to, saw everything we wanted to, and had a perfect day. Considering this was just 2 days after our puke-our-guts-out-delusional-sick-gross-feverish food poisoning adventure, we really counted ourselves lucky!

On Saturday we went shopping at the ...um, the term is totally escaping me. Big outdoor market with all sorts of food and clothes and sunglasses, etc. We got all sorts of cool stuff there from yummy fresh fruit to an original imitation of van Gogh's Starry Night to the best Mexican food ever, to a new pair of sunglasses. Oh...its the Swap meet. Duh.

Later that day we went to the beach. I love the beach! And so, my dear friends, does Jack. He slept for the first hour or two we were there, but once he woke up he was so utterly thrilled by the seagulls he screamed himself completely hoarse. I don't think there is anything cuter than chubby babies with raspy voices!

This is my totally awful he-will-hate-me-when-he-is-older blackmail picture!

While we were there, just gazing over the ocean, we saw this:

And if you look closely, you will see this:

Yep, we saw a whole heard of dolphins. 2 actually! It was incredible to see so many up close! They kept jumping out of the water, but I was never cool enough to get a picture of that. It was a wonderful birthday gift from Mother Nature to me!

That Sunday we went and stayed with Jonathan's aunt and uncle. While there we took some cute pictures of Jackson. The first two are him giving me loves. He loves giving hugs and especially kisses to me, but he won't go near Jonathan cause his face is too scratchy!

Michigan Memories

2011-11-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

Is it okay to blog when I have 30,000 other things to do? I finally found my camera cord and downloaded all the pictures I've been saving up for months. And the second I finished that and decided it was okay to blog after all, The Kid woke up 1:20 minutes prematurely from his nap. Guess who will be playing the "let's cry it out" game today! Did you know that after only 3 sentences about nothing I had to turn around and edit what I wrote? I changed tenses all over the place. Tense changing in the middle of papers...always been a weakness of mine.

So back to posting...

I haven't made a real blog post with anything but pictures for a really long time. Mostly because I didn't have the energy to think about writing words. But I have officially re-purchased my very expensive Independent Study writing class, and need to start actually working on it! So this will be my warm-up. Catching up on my blog and getting my brain juices flowing so that I can remember how to write again. Not that that was a proper sentence or anything...

Anyway, a long, long time ago, in a state far far away, we went on a really wonderful vacation after we packed up the U-Haul and before we officially became Utah citizens. Michigan has a popular tourist spot right up beneath the U.P. called Mackinaw Island. It is a really fun cute little place full of people and horses and shopping and fudge. I think its only about 7 miles in circumference, and there are no motor vehicles allowed--feet, bikes, and horse drawn carriages only. You get there by ferry, and can pay loads of money to stay there overnight in one of their super cute hotels or bed&breakfasts, or you can ferry yourself back to the mainland. Because everything is more complicated with a baby (then only 4 months old), we decided to stay. While we were there we ate lots of overpriced food, stayed in the oldest hotel on the island (built in 1852--that was an experience! I should have a special blog post dedicated to special floral hotel rooms we've stayed in!), took a bike tour around the island, window shopped, hung out in the butterfly house, and just relaxed!

Jonny on our bike tour

Our beautifully blue floral hotel room with tiny little Jack

On the ferry

The Island House Hotel we stayed in

Jack's cool new trick that got old fast

A butterfly

Our Jack

After our 2 day tourist adventure on Mackinaw Island, we ferried back to the mainland, went to church, and took a different ferry (this one took our car too) to a different island. This was a private island and was purely residential and totally anti-tourist. In residency Jonathan met a family that changed our lives. Gary was in and out of the hospital battling cancer and complications for 2 1/2 years and ended up being Jonathan's patient (completely by chance) multiple times throughout that period. Gary's wife Cindy is a firecracker and the cutest and most generous and loving woman we know. She christened herself Grandma Cindy when I met her (heavily pregnant) and her family just a week or two before Gary died. Well, Grandma Cindy was the owner of a beautiful cabin on this beautiful private island, and she generously offered it to us, with a fully stocked kitchen, for a week of vacation. She is going to heaven for that!! But actually, her cabin already was heaven. So I hope to one day be as wonderful as she is so that I can own a piece of heaven too!

The only spot on the property with cell-phone reception. Have you ever gone a week without any contact with the outside world? That is heaven too! ...Unless you are trying to find a home to rent 1 week before you move in... then its a complicated heaven!

Before we left, Cindy handed us the keys to the cabin and told us where her rifle was! She said there were rattle snakes and if we saw one (or in this case, 3), if we could please blast their heads off, she would be much obliged! This one was #2.

This one was #1

My little rattle snake killer!

So, Cindy had this foot rest that was actually a buffalo that I kept thinking was a real dog. I spent all week getting myself confused! Because we bonded with the hairy thing, we took this picture to send to Cindy with a thank-you package.

Oh how I love Michigan. Oh how beautiful it was and how many wonderful memories we created. I was so blessed to live there and have the experiences I had.

Clarification

2011-11-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Word on the street is that my latest blog entry was a little cryptic. What I meant to say was that my baby was up all night long and I was rocking him at 1, and 2, and 3, and 4, and 5, at which point we all just got up because we obviously weren't getting much sleep. Sorry if you thought I was into trashy innuendos or that I just liked that song so much that I wanted to put it on my blog all by itself!

...Around the Clock

2011-10-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock,
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight.

Put your [PAJAMAS] on and join me, hon,
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, [BEFORE] the broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.

When the clock strikes two, three and four,
If the band slows down we'll yell for more,
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, [BEFORE] the broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.

When the chimes ring five, six and seven,
We'll be right in seventh heaven. (??? That isn't what I'd call it)
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight,
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.

When it's eight, nine, ten, eleven too,
I'll be [DRAGGING HARD] and so will you.
Because we rocked around the clock last night,
Because we rocked, rocked, rocked, [BEFORE] the broad daylight.
We rocked, rocked, rocked, around the clock last night!

2011-10-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

Shoo %@$& Fly

2011-10-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

There is a Sniper Fly in my office, stalking the computer desk. He hides out somewhere in our dark furniture or in the ceiling fan and every time I sit down he dive-bombs for my ear. He's not a normal fly. Normal ones are content to buzz around on your hands, the desk, the wall.. places where they can be seen and squashed. Not this one. He has thrived for days living off the sheer adrenalin of making me absolutely crazy. The second I sit down and get involved in something like my scripture study (code for "guess what I am supposed to be doing right now, except that I am too distracted to finish"), he starts flying in a halo through my hair and around my head, totally invading my personal space bubble and infuriating me with his high-pitched whine. Then I start dancing around the room like a boxer with a fly swatter in place of gloves, swinging in a furious blinding rage. The fly will occasionally zoom around me, mocking my feeble attempts at murder. I hate him. I hate him with a fiery passion. I want him dead, and I want to be the one to dump his finally-silent squashed up body into the toilet and flush him away forever.

I promise I am not a violent person.

I just hate flies.

Perspective

2011-10-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

My baby has a cold. He has been waking me up every night for the past week and a half between 3 and 7 times a night, and then crying for me to hold him all day while Jonathan is at work. This morning he woke up for the 3rd time at 4:45. I hurried in there to disturb Jonathan's sleep as little as possible. I fed Jack and put him back to bed. He was quiet until I got back into my bed, and right about the time I got comfortable he started crying again. At that point I gave up and left him there screaming until 5:15 when Jonathan finally asked me what we were going to do with him. I told him he had to deal with it because I couldn't handle it anymore. Jonathan brought him into our room and laid him between us. Jack started reaching for me and I rolled over and turned my back to him. I had reached my limit. He screamed. Emotions were tense. Words were tense. Jonathan got up and walked around with him downstairs.

I laid in bed and prayed for calmness. The baby was quiet, but I knew Jonathan was just as exhausted as I was and deserved to be in bed before his long day at work and weekend on call. But my heart was pounding in my ears and I felt like I had a raging bull in my chest pawing to break free. I was angry. Not at Jonathan, not at the baby, not at life, not really at anything. I was just raging mad. After laying in bed seeing red for about 5 minutes I got up and went downstairs. I took the baby and told Jonathan to go back to bed. He sat at his work computer and said he might as well get prepared for the day since he was already up. I took the baby to his room, fed him again, and thankfully this time he fell back asleep.

At about 5:45 I found myself tired, but awake. Alone, and happy to be so. Not angry anymore, but not really in the mood for anything. Too aroused to fall asleep. So I decided to brainlessly surf facebook. After a few minutes of brainlessness, I saw that my old roommate Shauna had posted a link about our roommate Laura. Laura and I had lived together at Sparks the year before I got married. She took her own life two years ago yesterday.

Fall of 2008 to spring of 2009 was the most emotionally turbulent time in my life for reasons ranging as far across the board as my emotions themselves. But when I was on an emotional high on my way to go see Jonathan, Laura was there to loan me her carry-on bag and drive me to the airport. When I was lonely and sad on the return trip, she was there in passenger pick-up to comfort me and make me laugh. When my mind was full of a gospel question that I couldn't work out, Laura was on the couch with her scriptures discussing things with me and enlightening me until late late at night. At 1 or 2 am when I was stressed and overwhelmed from studying things I didn't understand, Laura was downstairs ready with a midnight snack and her massage table and lotion. At random times of day or night, Laura was on the couch laughing loudly and hysterically (as she always did) at Oprah or some other show (though Oprah was on a lot). Her laughter was infectious and I LOVED hearing it. Even if it was random outbursts just as I was trying to fall asleep. She borrowed my computer a lot, so I would often come home to her at my desk working on something like a funny blog post or selling her Chuck Norris folders on KSL. She loved Chuck Norris. Every few weeks I would find sticky notes or thank you cards from her expressing her gratitude for our late night talks, or computer time, or whatever.

Laura was nocturnal, usually rising sometime after 3 or 4 in the afternoon, and going to bed about that same time in the morning. Often when I was leaving for work or campus at 5 or 6am she would still be up. She lived in sweats and a robe most often, but when she wanted to, she could dress up and outshine us all! Laura was beautiful! Laura had the best sense of humor and the best laughter by far. She told the best stories and could always brighten my mood. When she was happy, there was no one I liked being around more!

But Laura was sad a lot. She struggled heavily with depression. She never had respite--it was her constant companion. It was her personal struggles though, that gave her the ability to empathize with me and with everyone in our apartment. Everyone loved her and felt regularly her love for them. That year, Laura was one of the people who helped pull me through. I leaned on her compassion and understanding heavily, and she gladly helped me carry my burdens. I tried to do the same for her.

Through that spring and summer Laura was in and out of the hospital frequently. I moved out in April, and got married in June. In July, she was back home in Iowa with her family, still in and out of the hospital. We were passing through the state on our way to Michigan, but she didn't want us to stop and visit. Two years ago today I got a phone call from my roommate to tell me she had committed suicide.

The link my roommate Shauna had posted was Laura's family's blog that they had created in memory of her. It was a collection of stories and experiences from the past and their wishes that she was still with them. The second I opened the page and saw the pictures they had posted of her, my heart was opened, and for the first time I was able to truly mourn her passing. I read her family's thoughts and feelings and pain and I cried. In the dark, quiet morning I was finally able to process my feelings about her death. Even though we only lived together for a handful of months, my time with her changed my life and she touched me deeply. I have thought about her almost every day for the last 2 years, and often ponder her life and her struggles. I have a small picture of Christ and a note she wrote me framed in my kitchen. I will never see that picture without thinking of her.

Along with the blog site, Shauna posted a song Laura had sang to her once. Laura was one of the most musically gifted people I have ever known and had the ability to capture emotion in her music like no one else. This song had great meaning for the two of them, and after listening to it on repeat for hours this morning, it has come to have great meaning for me too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UE8hIOo_SY&feature=share

Playtime!

2011-10-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Pajama Jammin'

2011-10-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

Bathtime

2011-10-03T20:02:00.001-07:00

Bathtub Ducky, you're the one! You make bathtime so much fun! Big bath ducky I'm so awfully fond of you!

And I might be pretty fond of me too!

Jonathan and Marissa's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2011-09-21T14:37:00.001-07:00

Once upon a Monday night Jonathan came home from work tired and Marissa was worn out and they had tacos for dinner because they both had colds and their baby was fussy and tacos are easy.

...And that is the story of how they never had tacos ever again in their entire lives.

The End

MY Wild Thing

2011-08-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Today Jack is emotional. Its what happens on Monday. Because Jack doesn't sleep on Sunday. So I haven't done anything. Well, that's a lie, I've eaten breakfast and lunch during Jack's 30 minute nap/scream sessions. And sung lots of songs, read a few stories, and played lots of baby games, and looked at the dishes that need to be done (semi-grateful I have an excuse not to do them).

Jackson likes music. A lot. And being 2:30 pm, of course he is still in his pajamas that happen to have jungle animals all over them. So I turned Wild Thing from the Troggs on repeat. And now we're both happy.

His preferred Music Appreciation pose

See the marks on his eyes/nose? His wild animal claw marks from naptime.

Here he can't decide between happy and grumpy, although because the camera is in his face he knows he is supposed to smile:

And by #13, right around the time mom decided she needed to do something other than play with him, he decided he just doesn't care:

I call this one

MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Moving Out Is Hard To-ooh-ooh Do!

2011-06-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Do-do-do down doobie-doo-down-down.
Box-up, box-up, down doobie-doo-down-down.
Box-up, box-up, down doobie-doo-down-down.
Movin' out is hard to do.

Don't take Ann Arbor away from me
Don't you see that causes misery
When I move then I'll be blue
'Cause leaving friends is hard to do

Remember when we first moved in
And all the fun that we've had since then
Think of all that we've been through
Leaving home is hard to do

They say that packing up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
I'm sad that this is the end
Instead of packing up I wish that we were setting up again

I love this place, its hard to leave
Please forgive me but I have to grieve
I can do it, I chose to move
My faith in God I have to prove

They say that changing states can be really hard too
Utah culture's unique through and through
I agree, the mountains are nice
But leaving midwest, culture, trees--its really quite a sacrifice

I say to you, my heartfelt goodbye
Leaving this place, my eyes won't be dry
But come on Jonny, we'll start anew
'Cause I hear Utah can be pretty good too!

Baby Love

2011-04-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon the other day I wasted over an hour reading my entire blog archives. I am working on identifying and rejoicing in my talents, so I will go ahead and say it: a few of the posts were really funny. At least I made myself laugh...which isn't really that great of an accomplishment since I wrote it because I thought it was funny in the first place...

...the point I am getting to is this: I used to write about things. I miss writing about things. I like playing with words and create sentences and paragraphs that tell a story. Especially when its a funny one! But it has been a long winter here in Ann Arbor and Jack and I are on self-imposed house arrest most days. Since we don't get out much, our day consists of napping and cleaning and baths and diaper changes. Funny things do happen, but they usually involve embarrassing bodily functions (as in my own, since we have already proved exposing Jack is nothing we miss sleep over!), and while they are things I might share on an individual basis, writing up a piece on milk shooting contests isn't really something I feel like I can share publicly! :)

So until something happens that can be said better with words than with a picture, here is a whole lot more cuteness all bundled up in an everloving 14lb package!

I love his little bum in the air!

Hangin' out with the Bears

Just FYI, at his 2 month appointment he weighed 13.8lbs, which put him in the 92%, and was in the 95% for height. With those cheeks, you might assume he'd be swimming in the deep end of the number scale for head circumference. But don't be fooled by his chub...our little boy's bean-head is in the 25th percentile.

For your viewing pleasure, Jackson sneezes just like his father:

Our little chatterbox:

Chins and Cheeks and Chunks, Oh My!

2011-04-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything to write about...I just want to glory in my chunky happy healthy little boy!

Fun Facts, Baby's First Month

2011-04-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

Head to toe:

- Jackson has officially outgrown his hairline. It now roughly resembles that of the bride from Jan van Eyck's "The Arnolfini Marriage"...minus the horns...

- He has charming deep blue eyes that try as we might we can never quite get to focus on us. He seems to favor space, although sometimes we get lucky!

- He has the biggest most kissable cheeks known to babykind.

- Jack sports 2 full chins regularly and on occasion there have been sightings of a third. There is so much chin that his poor neck never sees the light of day! Speaking of necks, he's got all the skin for the makings of a nice long neck...just nothing to support it. This kid is all cheeks and shoulders!

- The only thing to rival his neck rolls are his arm rolls.

- He definitely got the Vellinga hips and bottom. No Manning butt is that small, that's for darn sure!

- I love his profile!

Other Noteworthy Developments and Facts

- Our boy bleats like a goat. And a dolphin...although they don't bleat...not sure what they do. He just sounds like one. Its really cute. Here he is taking speaking lessons from our bamboo goat:

- Jackson is a first class eater! He rarely falls asleep before he has gotten his fill and though he normally eats for about 10-12 minutes a feeding, about 1-2 times a day he will go for 15-20. By this point he has anatomy down pat, he just gets a little mixed up with gender! :)

- He is a GREAT nighttime sleeper, and if I feed him before we go to bed he will usually only get me up once before about 6:30 am after about a 5-6 hour stretch. He is pretty good with nap time, although we have issues if the pacifier falls out too soon. He doesn't love falling asleep in his crib, so for now wherever he falls asleep he stays! We'll fix bad habits when he's a bit older.

- I have the cutest, most happy, and most cuddly boy EVER!

Hooray!!

2011-04-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

I would just like to report that for the first time in about 8 months I am wearing pants that both zip up and button, and they are currently both zipped and buttoned. Wahoo!!

Next goal: wear my own pants, not Jonathan's!

PS- We bought a replacement car this morning. Its unfortunately not any kind of assault vehicle, but rather a [wimpy] 200something Honda Civic. With manually locking doors and windows and side view mirror adjusting, no cruise control, and a dent in the door. But it has only had 1 owner who took really good care of it (minus the crack kicked into the back passenger door by his kid), low miles, and no rust. It was a fair deal and a safe bet, unlike the other 400 vehicles we checked out over the last week. We aren't excited about it, but we are satisfied with it. It is a modest car that we feel good about and aren't afraid to drive. How Epicurean of us.

Happy driving!

Anyone know of a good deal on Hummers?

2011-03-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time our little family, including our three-week old baby, decided to take a trip to the airport to return my visiting mother to her home in Las Vegas. Right before leaving Jack had his third major poop explosion, covering all walls and furniture in its path. (You would think his parents would clue in by this point; the boy's butt must be covered at ALL times and ALL costs!) Thanks to Jack's help, we were in a pretty big rush to leave. As we got in the car I felt impressed that we should say a prayer. But because I try to rationalize things, I excused the prompting as "we're just going 30 minutes away to the airport; we don't need to pray every time we get in the car". I was dumb. I'll be praying now!

We had been on the freeway for about 5 minutes. There were 20 seconds left in the basketball game Jonny was listening to over the radio. We were driving about 70mph in the middle lane of traffic. From the back seat I heard my mom start ragging on some stupid driver trying to make an idiotic pass in front of us. I looked up in just enough time to watch Black Car careen into the median and then shoot into the road directly in front of us like a pinball in a pinball machine. I heard Jonathan yell that he was going to hit us and then everything was a blur of speed and fuzzy images and panic. I vaguely remember the impact of our car smashing into the side of the black one. All that is clear was the memory of Jonathan screaming, "My baby" over and over and a sense that everything would be okay resting on my soul underneath layers of absolute fear and dread. I remember going up a cement embankment and then curving back down and being thrown into a pit. Dirt and rocks flew up all around us and I just remember being thrown violently around inside the car until we came to a stop. I unbuckled my seat belt and turned around sobbing for Jackson. I was shaking all over and could hardly catch my breath. I could see the Black Car behind us up on a hill with his nose pointed toward the freeway, completely flipped from the direction we went off. The vehicle was demolished and I couldn't imagine anyone from that car being alive. Jackson was screaming as my mom pulled him out of the car seat and handed him up to me. He stopped crying as soon as I had him in my arms and I just sat there rocking him and crying until I could breath and think again.

Because our two back doors were broken my mom had climbed up into the drivers seat after Jonathan had gotten out to go check on the people in the car that hit us. During the impact Jonathan had hit his forehead hard enough that it bent the steering wheel noticeably, and then slammed him back into the head rest. Once he got out of the car he reports not being able to think strait. He headed off to help the other driver but turned back around several times almost lost. He kept screaming for someone to call the cops while several times he pulled out his own phone, looked at it, and then put it back in his pocket not knowing what to do with it. I waited in the car until Jonathan and my mom came back.

This is my mom's version of the story, written to my younger brother who is currently serving a mission, which fills in what I missed while I waited with Jackson:

I had a very, very awesome time in Michigan seeing the baby. There is no feeling in the world like cuddling someone so close to heaven. When Marissa and Jonathan took me back to the airport we were hit by a reckless driver. It totaled the car and threw us across the freeway, up a cement embankment,and down into a ditch before coming to a stop. God protected us from the worst of what could have and should have happened. We all walked away, the baby was unharmed, and though we were bruised and sore and have some minor stuff, no one was seriously injured except for emotional trauma. There is nothing to take away the feeling of knowing you are going to be hit, being hit, and feeling completely helpless and out of control of your fate. You will probably laugh at the next part. As soon as we knew we were all ok, Jonathan got out of the car and checked on the other driver. I will call him jerk instead of the choice names I really call him. He had been passing a car with no room to pass safely when I saw and commented on his reckless behavior. Then he was driving like he was drunk, weaving and veering, ending up in the left emergency lane and hitting the cement barricade that separates us from oncoming traffic. I was saying stuff like "wow, what a &^%&^%!! Now look at him!!!!" Then we realized he was going to hit us. It was full on sideswipe, on my and Jonathan's side but thankfully not the baby's. So now backtrack 18 years to some history. When we first moved to Vegas I was exceedingly fearful of being hit by a drunk driver while I had my precious babies in the car. I'd had numerous dreams of such things and it really troubled me. I had lots of anger issues as well (imagine that!), and not as much self control as I have now. (stop laughing). Consequently, I had a plan of action if I actually had the experience of being hit by a drunk driver. I was going to kill the driver if he wasn't already injured or dead. Thankfully nothing of the sort ever happened, you all grew up to adulthood, and the only accident we had was my stupidity in taking an exit too sharply. Now back to March 26. Having spent those incredible days bonding with my grandson, and in my narcissism he became my left arm (you are still my right arm) and quite valuable to me, I took on the protectiveness I had when you guys were young. I handed the baby to Marissa, jumped out of the car, and asked where the other driver was. People who were almost hit had pulled over to help. We were at the foot of a hill, the other car was halfway up the hill, and the driver was somewhere in the grass & bushes. They pointed towards him and I tore off. I scrambled through the bushes barely noticing them, and when I found him lying on the ground talking on his cell phone I let loose. In my former days I'm not sure if I would have stopped, but on this day I could feel the restraint of a force not my own. Instead of attacking him physically I attacked him verbally. I shouted, "you mother@#*#, you almost killed a 3 week old baby!!" I suppose I expected an apology or remorse. Then I would have calmed down. Instead he jumped to his feet and came after me. As he was advancing I weighed my options. He was about 6 ft tall, and had the advantage of being above me on the hill. I was level with his stomach but my anger was so strong I was ready to punch his fat gut and take the consequence. We were less than 2 feet apart and I was searching for where on his body I was going to start hitting when I realized he was going to hit me first. Two people who had followed me up the hill realized that as well, and stupidly though thankfully, got in between us. One guy backed the jerk up, the other guy turned to me and started pleading jerk's case. "Look, he's injured." (Jerk was bleeding from his forehead which added to his crazed look). "Everyone is okay. Just let it go. Let it go" repeated again because I was having a hard time hearing with all the blood rushing thru my head. I was frozen in place, not talking or moving, but glaring and spewing hatred at the jerk. After a long several moments as they continued to move him out of reach, I finally turned to the man trying to get my attention and let him talk me down. He asked where we were going, I told him the airport, and he offered to take me. I didn't know how else I was going to get there so I said okay. We passed the jerk and I glared at him again and said, "I hope you die". He said, "You'll die first you crazy b#@*" among a lot of other swear words. I flipped him off, he flipped me off, and I went back to the car. I held the baby one last time, hugged Marissa & Jonathan, and left with the complete stranger.

*Jonathan was off somewhere picking flowers while my Mom was on her violent escapades. He said he kept meaning to get involved and make some kind of war, or peace, but couldn't ever get his train of thought straight enough to really do anything. He thinks smashing his head into the steering wheel was Heaven's kind way of putting a stop to what he described as an unspeakable terror. The fear over having the baby in the car, knowing there couldn't be any real hope he would make it out uninjured, was worse than any living experience he's had to date.
(*Written in his own words.)

After my mom left, another guy who had pulled off volunteered to let me and the baby sit in his car to stay warm while we waited for the cops to arrive. I called our good friend and home teacher who arrived promptly. He helped us gather our stuff from the Rodeo, waited with Jonathan for moral support while he talked with the police, and invited us over for dinner.

While Jonathan (now slightly more alert) was taking care of things I had a long time to sit in the warm car cradling my sweet baby. All I could do was pray and express my overwhelming gratitude for our safety and protection. I was so filled with love for my family and for all of the people who had pulled over to lend help and service and comfort. We were truly incredibly blessed.

Since then, Jonathan and I talk about the accident a lot. We have cried about it, and prayed about it, and joked about it, and told other people about it. We are looking for new cars. And by cars I mean army tanks. And new car seats. We are even more grateful for Jackson and for his healthy body. We have been the recipients of prayers and dinners and phone calls and emails and handshakes and hugs from all of our friends and family. We are celebrating life.

Actions and Consequences Revisited

2011-03-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when Dad doesn't read Mom's blog post:

Actions and Consequences

2011-03-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when we let Dad dress the baby:

Camo and stripes, three cheers for Dad!!!

This is what happens when Mom takes too long applying butt cream to the diaper rash:

Oh, did I do that?

Sweeet shot, oh yeah!!

And these are my two favorite Jackson photos of all time:

So in love with these cheeks!

2011-03-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

Oh Man Is It Great To Not Be Pregnant Anymore!

2011-03-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

We have hereby succeeded in turning This...

(Both taken within days of my due date)

Into This...

And This...

Into This...

Now we are happily awaiting the time that This...

Becomes This...

Jackson Ezekiel Vellinga was born 1 week ago today, 2 days past his due date. I went into labor at 4am last Wednesday morning; contractions were fairly regular averaging from about 7-12 minutes the first few hours, then every 6-10 minutes for a few hours, and then every 3-6 minutes for about the last hour, all about 1 minute to 1:30 long. It hurt, but I could handle it...until around 11:30 when I had a really nice contraction that lasted for about 3 minutes. I swore, I'll admit it! At that point Jonathan and I decided it was time to head to the hospital, so he rapidly grabbed all our stuff while I sprawled over our exercise ball moaning obscenities. We were really afraid of being sent home, but the triage nurse assuaged our fears when she told us I was dilated to a 6. Woot! After that she got us nice and tucked in to what we kept being told was the best labor and delivery room in the hospital. Let me start squeezing your insides out and tell me if you care?! (Although I was grateful after the epidural kicked in and after we had bunked there for a full 50 hours). After getting asked the same questions 50 different times from 50 different medical residents and getting some tube stuck in me to accompany every one of them, the pain magically melted away and I was able to experience gratitude. I was flooded with it actually. Gratitude for Jonathan who had been so supportive and loving and instantly willing to meet my every need. Gratitude for the Triage nurse who told me I had a high pain tolerance and let me stay in the hospital. Gratitude to the guy who stuck the tube in my back that took away the waves of pain I had battled for the past 8 hours. Gratitude to all the nurses who kept checking on me and making sure I was doing well. And gratitude to God for letting my pregnancy finally be over. But after a lot of hours of being grateful I started being bored. Really bored. What do you do for 10 hours in a room in a bed when you no legs? You lay there. You reject phone calls from your mom who has called every 30 minutes to see if anything has changed. You watch a lot of unsatisfying media. But then the magical doctor came in and told me to push. Then 5 other non-magical medical people came in to watch. Kind of unnerving to be spread eagle in front of a room full of people calmly watching you push your guts out of your ears (and other places) for an hour (the only downside of not being blinded by pain). I kept asking them to tell me when I was having contractions because I only felt "pressure" about 50% of the time and I had about a 3 minute delay on my view of the monitor, but to no avail. So I started just making contractions up and pushing as hard as I could whenever I felt like it. Eventually I became conscious of a head, and people started getting excited. Wow. I loved watching Jonathan's face through all the exciting stuff. And at 10:58pm I loved having my gooey, 8 lb 1 oz, 21 1/2 in. long baby plopped on my chest. And I loved him instantly.

There was very minimal tearing and I could walk myself to the bathroom by about 3am. Not to be crude, but do you know how good it feels to pee more than a tablespoon at a time? Ah, it was beautiful! At about 3:30am I could hear the woman in the room next door to mine delivering her baby naturally. She was a screamer. The doctors all cheered for her when she finally pushed her baby out. I cheered for her too and said a big huge prayer of thanks for my blissfully wonderful epidural!

The rest of our hospital stay was uneventful. Lots of residents popping in to ask more questions. Lots of low-grade hospital food. Lots of cuddles with my adorable new baby and my studly husband. Lots of gratitude for a wonderful experience.

The last few days have been spent staring at our son. That's pretty much it! And when I manage to take my eyes off him, I spend my time doing things like laying on my stomach just for kicks, cutting my toenails because it hasn't been done in about 4 months, shaving my legs for the same reason, and dropping things on the ground just so I can bend over and pick them up again. I LOVE not being pregnant!!! Everything is going smoothly and we are one happy family. Three cheers for Jack!

Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!!
Hip hip hooray!!!

Hurry Up!... and Wait

2011-02-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

I went to the doctor on Thursday morning. I was thrilled to find out I was dilated 3 cm and 90% effaced. My membranes were stripped, I started contracting, saw the "bloody show", and thought I was ready to go! Jonny and I finally installed the car seat, we started packing the hospital bags, and we spent all night tossing and turning, waking each other up, and not getting more than about 40 minutes of deep, consecutive sleep...over nothing.

But we did not loose hope! We KNEW the baby would come on Friday. How could he not?! Signs were there, we were tired of waiting...it was time! So Jonny went to work expecting a page at any minute and I went to work putting my house in order and fielding phone calls and text messages from excited well-wishing family and friends. I was so busy yesterday that I didn't even have time for my normal daily routine of checking email, facebook, and blogs in that order every 30 min to 1 hour. (It looks something like this: wake up, pee, check the computer, pee, eat breakfast, send Jonny to work, pee, check the computer, read my scriptures, pee, finish reading, pee, check the computer, pee, do some dishes, check the computer, pee, straighten couch pillows, check the computer....). I decided that I would help the baby out by not sitting down all day and I worked my tail off! Here's the agenda (because I want to feel proud of myself for accomplishing so much!):
-read scriptures
-made bread (4 loaves by hand with home ground wheat because I'm cool like that)
-made pesto to freeze for later so that my basil wouldn't go bad
-cooked chicken, grated cheese, and chopped veggies for chicken tortilla soup that I hoped I wouldn't need to make for dinner
-loaded (and eventually unloaded) the dishwasher
-sanitized my counter tops and appliances (insides of microwaves, toasters, refrigerators, etc)
-hand washed and dried some pans
-swept and mopped kitchen twice...because once is never enough to catch every last crumb
-de-linted my laundry room/washer/dryer (we have a big lint leakage problem)
-washed and folded 3 loads of laundry
-changed the bed sheets
-vacuumed 2 bathroom floors, cleaned 2 bathroom toilets, washed mirrors, and sanitized bathroom counter tops. Cleaned 1 shower. That is my all-time least favorite chore in the whole world
-vacuumed our entire apartment. Twice.
-emptied all the trashes and both the big and little vacuumes
-reorganized some baby accessories

When Jonny got home from work he worked out with our new toy, the P90X, while I looked on jealously at how easy it is for him to move. We ate dinner. I sunk into extreme exhausted and depressed mode. The baby failed me. He did not come. Jonny read some scriptures to me, we took a nap, and then tried again to walk the kid out all over Target. Fail again. Went home grump-tastically disappointed.

I made a fatal mistake. I got excited at the prospect of delivering early. Bad, bad Marissa. Because now, everything that felt bad before (my back, having to pee 80 times a day, not being able to roll over, bend over, step over...) now feels 1000x worse.

After our failure to force Jr. out yesterday, Jonathan and I stayed up till midnight watching Groundhog Day and hoping I would start contracting. That movie felt quite appropriate to my pessimistic perspective. Bitter angry grumpy person, and a situation that NEVER CHANGED. Pregnancy does end, right? Thankfully the movie was just right to both appease and improve my mood, and though I didn't go into labor, I did sleep for a solid 4 hours before I needed my first pee break and I slept pretty good after that too. Sleep helps a lot!!

But then I woke up to a bitter, ugly, endlessly snowy day. Waiting for spring in MI is like waiting for labor...you know it is supposed to come...someday...

So here I am. Blogging. Huge. Uncomfortable. Disappointed. Hungry. Bored. Everything I needed to do has been done. Everything I want to do are all things I am physically incapable of doing. I am grumpy with an emotional desire to change my mood but with no physical or mental desire to put in any effort. Rock on. Maybe I'll be pregnant until I can change my attitude about it. I think I'm going to go dull my pains with some Sonny and Cher and a TimTam Slam. I'll sing endlessly to my belly, "I've got you, babe!"

The Sewing Machine Master!

2011-02-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

About a month ago one of Jonathan's patients gave me a sewing machine. Totally awesome, and a little too generous! My friend Mary took pity on me and taught me all sorts of important things like what "notions" are, how to thread a bobbin, how to buy fabric...you know, the BASICS. She also taught me cool things like zipper installation! Thanks to her tutelage, I am the proud creator of these fantastic works of art:
Projects made in order of appearance.

Sweet pajama pants that have since been altered down to fit just a little better!

Picture taken at 36 weeks of uncomfortable hugeness.

Wonderfully comfortable rice bags and washable covers for backaches and cold feet!

And a cute Boppy pillow cover for 1/2 the price you can buy them for!

Any suggestions for my next project?

A Note About The Long Post Underneath This One

2011-02-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

This is a fairly extensive collection of my thoughts and feelings on happiness. I re-posted my ideas on the first "component" with some new additions for the sake of continuity of thought, and because the first post was missing some major elements! This topic is still a work in progress, although this may be my last blog post about it. If you have any more thoughts on the topic, please share them with me! I have been so enriched by the ideas already shared.

PS- In case you were wondering...

Fundamental happiness+Relationship happiness+Elements of happiness=Joy

And this is what that looks like:

Thoughts on Happiness, Complete Edition

2011-02-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

Fundamental Happiness—Component 1

I think happiness is achieved as we subscribe to the components that make up our ability to receive joy. The first component I refer to as "fundamental" happiness, and call it this because I believe that it is the basic and most fundamental building block to experiencing joy. It can be experienced on its own as can the other components, but I feel that this fundamental happiness is the greatest of the three and is capable of allowing us to have the most substantial feelings of happiness.

Relating to this fundamental happiness, Joseph Smith said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence (1); and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it (2); and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God (3)”.
-Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56

(1) 2 Nephi 2:25, "...men are, that they might have joy."
(2) Mosiah 2:41, "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness..."
(3) Alma 3:26, "...that they might reap their rewards according to their works, whether they were good or whether they were bad, to reap eternal happiness or eternal misery, according to the spirit which they listed to obey, whether it be a good spirit or a bad one."

To me, fundamental happiness comes from understanding that God is real, that He is my Father, that He loves me, He hears me, and He has prepared a path and help along that path to guide me back to Him. Part of that path is partaking of the gift of the Atonement, available to us through the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. As my sister-in-law Lauren pointed out, this type of happiness is what Lehi refers to in 1 Nephi 8: 10-12.

And it came to pass that I beheld a tree whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen. And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desireable above all other fruit.

The fruit of the tree is representative of our Savior Jesus Christ. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6); He is our bread of life (John 6:35) and the water that will cause us to never thirst (John 4:14). It is our testimony of Him and His Atonement as an absolute and fundamental piece of the Plan of Salvation that allows us to “pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst” (Alma 32:42).

Knowledge of these things creates a feeling of comfort, security, and direction. Contributing to this is an understanding of what Heavenly Father expects from me, and the spiritual confirmations I receive that let me know that He knows I am doing my best. This confirmation is experienced by the power of the Holy Ghost. Elder Corbridge says this on the Holy Ghost:

Nothing in this life is of greater worth than the supernal gift of the Holy Ghost. It is the source of joy, peace, knowledge, strength, love, and every other good thing. With the Atonement, it is the power by which we may be changed and made strong where we are weak. With the priesthood, it is the power by which marriages and families are sealed together eternally. It is the power by which the Lord makes Himself manifest unto those who believe in Him. Every good thing depends on getting and keeping the power of the Holy Ghost in our lives. Everything depends on that.

When I am actively seeking to do what God expects of me I experience a very pure and simple form of happiness that erases worries and fears. I am blessed with the confirming and comforting assurances of the Holy Ghost that I am on the right track. I would consider this as the kind of happiness that we experience deep down that allows us to respond yes to the question, "Are you happy?" even when we have lost someone we love, we weigh 20lbs more than we want to, we have a huge project deadline coming up in a matter of days that we are not, and have no hope of being prepared for, and our houses have just been hit by a tornado (literally or figuratively). I think Billy Graham describes it nicely here, "The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will root deeply inside us and give inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus."

Relationships—Component 2

John Donne is famous for the line, "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."

That is what God intended for us. From the very beginning we have not been left to endure mortality alone; even Adam had Eve. The internet is replete with quotes and stories on love and the power of relationships, as is almost any book ever written, and any movie ever made. Commercials and billboards use relationships as a marketing tool.

No matter who you are, a good relationship has the power to strengthen, enrich, support, and influence us for better. A good relationship, one full of love and selfless interaction, has the ability to bring us greater fulfillment and happiness than almost anything else, which is why I consider this the second component to happiness.

Elements of Happiness—Component 3

In a talk by President Faust called, "Our Search for Happiness" he says, "Happiness is not given to us in a package that we can just open up and consume. Nobody is ever happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Rather than thinking in terms of a day, we perhaps need to snatch happiness in little pieces, learning to recognize the elements of happiness and then treasuring them while they last." To me, these elements of happiness are external factors, the parts of life that bring us happiness that are not always dependent on or even related to what we are doing to attain happiness in the spiritual realm. A great many years back I found a list of things in some teen girl magazine that to me fall into this category when one is in a grateful state of mind, things like painting your toenails fire engine red, hot laundry fresh from the dryer, or watching the sunrise. To me, things like eating my favorite foods, being outdoors in the sunshine, having a good workout, finishing tasks on my 'to do' list, and working towards a goal maybe describe the external factors I am referencing a little better (although red toenails can make one happy!)

Posted on the blog of a friend of my mission companion was this thought on beauty and on appreciating the small things. I think it highlights both what “elements of happiness” are, and also the trap of them that we must be careful not to fall into.

"Beauty is a hard thing to describe because everybody has a different interpretation. The dictionary describes it as the quality of a person or object that brings deep pleasure to the viewer. Because we all have different taste, views, opinions, and come from different backgrounds this is different for everybody. For some people beauty is very important. They want to be beautiful and they want to surround themselves with beautiful things. Sometimes at great cost to the point that it is detrimental. We have all seen the people with way too much plastic surgery. They end up looking scary and fake, just because they wanted to look more youthful or “better.” There is also the continual battle between inner and outer beauty. I think we have all met people who were beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside and visa versa. I believe when we learn to see people for who they really are that is when we can see the true beauty within and without.

A lot of people get so overwhelmed with all of the bad that is happening in this world that they forget to see the beauty that surrounds us every day. If you take time to look around and appreciate the little miracles around you, you can really see the beautiful world we live in. The way the light hits the leaves and flickers in the sun, the old lady watering her roses in bright red shoes, the old man wheeling down the street in his motorized wheelchair with the pinwheel fluttering in the wind, sunsets streaking pink across the sky, brand new babies learning how to smile for the first time, laughing so hard you cry. Our lives are full of wonderful happenings. These are the things that we can draw inspiration from and where I believe true beauty lies."

In a talk called Living Happily Ever After from Coleen K. Menlove in the April 2000 General Conference we read of her similar experience.

A few months ago I had an opportunity to take a morning walk on a mountain trail with four of my grandchildren. We each brought a bag so we could collect treasures from nature. As we looked for pieces to put in our collection, we found many different colors, designs, and textures in the leaves and rocks. It was hard to choose. I soon noticed that the children’s bags were filling up. Each leaf the children selected was unique, but because it was late fall, most of the leaves had dark weathered spots, irregular shapes, or faded and discolored parts. Because of this, I was reluctant to add things to my bag. I was looking for a leaf that showed the brightest colors and had no flaws. If it wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t going to treasure it. But this meant that my bag had very little in it.

Later, as I thought about this experience, I realized that I had cheated myself of much delight and happiness that could have been mine. I didn’t appreciate the uniqueness of the objects because I was looking for what I had deemed perfection. My grandchildren had been wiser than I had been. They had savored the odd shapes and spots on the leaves. They giggled at and enjoyed the brittle crispness of the dying leaves, and they delighted in the soft, faded colors. They filled their bags with happy treasures to take home. We can fail to see and enjoy the unique happiness and beauty in each day if we are so focused on our desire for what we want instead of what the Lord has designed for us.

Challenges to Happiness

Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge, in his conference talk titled The Way says, "The Lord’s way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel. “There is an opposition in all things,”everywhere, for everyone. Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple. We have only two choices. We can either follow the Lord and be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy, or we can go some other way, any other way, whatever other way, and go it alone—without His support, without His power, without guidance, in darkness, turmoil, doubt, grief, and despair. And I ask, which way is easier?"

I believe that the, “some other way” Elder Corbridge mentions refer to the tools Satan uses to pull us off course. These tools are successful because he has found a way to successfully mimic the feelings of happiness. While Satan is incapable of mimicking the fundamental joy and happiness we can attain through our testimonies of God and Jesus Christ and obedience to their commandments, he has successfully found a way to manipulate the sensations we receive form relationships with others and is capable of reproducing shadows of happiness from external elements.

For example, when our hearts are right, we get joy out of serving others and building relationships that strengthen those we love. It is a selfless response to interpersonal interaction motivated by the wants and needs of others rather than the wants and needs of ourselves. When we choose “the other way”, we are only thinking to satisfy and gratify selfish desires. To me, one of the most poignant examples of this idea centers on the concept of morality. When we love others and truly want what is in their best interests, while we may be tempted by the lusts of the flesh we are able to postpone those desires, obey the rules for happiness God has given to us, and experience the true joy and beauty of a covenant relationship within the bonds of marriage to a person we cherish more highly than ourselves. We experience happiness through purity, sacrifice, service, and security. We are, “endowed with [God’s] power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy”. On the other hand, when we cheat ourselves by giving in to temptation and following the way shown us by Satan, we think what we do will satisfy our cravings and by removing the yearning, give us happiness. Instead, we take from others what is not intended for us at that time, and we are filled with feelings of guilt, remorse, regret, attachment, pain, and darkness.

Another avenue Satan uses to mimic happiness is by using external elements. When our hearts are right, rather than getting happiness from having money, we are happy when we are able to use that money to provide security for ourselves and our families, spend it on other external elemental things that create fun and happiness for those that we love, or use it to provide service for those who need it. When our hearts are wrong, we believe that the more we have for ourselves the happier we will be. We develop a warped sense of what “security” is. We think that using it to purchase elemental things for ourselves will boost our enjoyment of it. If we give it away to those who need it, we do it with the expectation of a “receipt”, meaning that we expect to be recognized, rewarded, or repaid for what we call a “gift”.

Achieving/Maintaining Happiness

Happiness is not simply just handed to us. It is a state of mind that we have to learn. Once we truly learn it, it becomes ingrained on our souls, a literal component of who we are. We are taught that when the Day of Judgment comes we will be assigned the kingdom we are most suited for. Alma 41:3-5 says, “And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good. And if their works are evil they shall be restored unto them for evil. Therefore, all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame—mortality raised to immortality, corruption to incorruption—raised to endless happiness to inherit the kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the kingdom of the devil, the one on one hand, the other on the other—The one raised to happiness according to his desires of happiness, or good according to his desires of good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil; for as he has desired to do evil all the day long even so shall he have his reward of evil when the night cometh. This idea is supported by Mormon 9:14 which says, "And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them; and then cometh the time that he that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still."

“In a real though figurative sense, the book of life is the record of the acts of men as such record is written in their own bodies. It is the record engraven on the very bones, sinews, and flesh of the mortal body. That is, every thought, word, and deed has an affect on the human body; all these leave their marks, marks which can be read by Him who is Eternal as easily as the words in a book can be read. By obedience to telestial law men obtain telestial bodies; terrestrial law leads to terrestrial bodies; and conformity to celestial law — because this law includes the sanctifying power of the Holy Ghost — results in the creation of a body which is clean, pure, and spotless, a celestial body. When the book of life is opened in the day of judgment, men's bodies will show what law they have lived. The Great Judge will then read the record of the book of their lives; the account of their obedience or disobedience will be written in their bodies. In a literal sense, the book of life, or Lamb's book of Life, is the record kept in heaven which contains the names of the faithful and an account of their righteous covenants and deeds. The book of life is the book containing the names of those who shall inherit eternal life; it is the book of eternal life. It is "the book of the names of the sanctified, even them of the celestial world." Names of faithful saints are recorded in the book of life while they are yet in mortality. But those names are blotted out in the event of wickedness.” (McKonkie, Mormon Doctrine, Book of Life)

A mission companion of mine, Megan, sent me this: “At that point what hit me was that if you were never happy with your life on earth, you won't be happy in the eternities with Heavenly Father.....happiness is something we need to LEARN to find here. We need to learn to be happy, it's not just something we feel when things are going right. So on the mish it was learning things like not saying "Oh well, once I get transferred out of this area I'll be happy" or "Once I'm with a better companion I'll be happy". And then when I got home it was learning not to think " Once I'm with new roommates I'll be happy" or "Once I graduate I'll be happy" or "Once I'm married I'll be happy". What this also meant to me was that happiness is a choice. Everyday when I wake up in a bad mood, I can make a conscious decision to be happy, and forget myself; to not dwell on what I can't change right then. To make the most out of what I'm given right now.”

She goes on, “I think the times I get the most down on life are the times when I think life is too hard....so what I have learned is that either I am not living the gospel well enough (or relying on the Lord enough) or....what is more likely the case....I am too focused on myself. Every time I feel unhappy, it's because I am so preoccupied with dwelling on me me me!! I think the best way to pull out of that funk and to find happiness is to serve other people! That was so easy on the mission. I think that was why it was so easy to be happy--we were so unconcerned with ourselves and always focused on the needs of others. So why don't we do that now? When I am down, am I thinking of the girls I visit teach? Are they down? Do they need some help? When I am down am I thinking about my family members, or roommates? As soon as I am willing to switch the focus, life doesn't seem so bad anymore. It's so simple, yet I am constantly having to re-learn it!”

William Adams from the book The Zest of Life says, "He who is the most active, from the best motives, is the happiest of his species." (William Adams, D.D., Thanksgiving: Memories of the Day; Helps to the Habit (1867). The Zest of Life). I think that is absolutely true, but would further it by specifying that “the best motives” most often are probably those not immediately concerning oneself.

Thoughts on Happiness, pt. 1

2011-01-26T06:22:00.000-08:00

I have been pondering this topic for several days. This morning I went to the computer with intentions of pouring out my brain all over this blog page and wowing myself with my absolute brilliance in solving one of life's greatest mysteries: The secrets to happiness.

I failed.

Instead I read and typed and researched and deleted and pulled quotes and prayed and thought and deleted some more, and ended up discovering that happiness and the human condition are some pretty complex topics. (You'd have thought that idea would have crossed my mind before now...).

So I decided to take my thoughts one chunk at a time and hopefully over the course of several more days be able to piece everything together in a way that helps me to learn something. This is my personal study, and a topic that I personally want to understand better. I am blogging about it because it is a way to seek input from the people who's knowledge and experience I value, so please, if you have any thoughts on the topic, email me?

Happiness

I think happiness is achieved as we subscribe to the components that make up our ability to receive joy. As of today, I have identified 3 different components, only the first of which I will share at this point. I refer to as "fundamental" happiness, and call it this because I believe that it is the basic and most fundamental building block to experiencing joy. It can be experienced on its own as can the other components, but I feel that this fundamental happiness is the greatest of the three and is capable of allowing us to have the most substantial feelings of happiness.

Relating to this fundamental happiness, Joseph Smith said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence (1); and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it (2); and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God (3)”.
-Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56

(1) 2 Nephi 2:25, "...men are, that they might have joy."
(2) Mosiah 2:41, "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness..."
(3) Alma 3:26, "...that they might reap their rewards according to their works, whether they were good or whether they were bad, to reap eternal happiness or eternal misery, according to the spirit which they listed to obey, whether it be a good spirit or a bad one."

To me, fundamental happiness comes from understanding that God is real, that He is my Father, that He loves me, He hears me, and He has prepared a path and help along that path to guide me back to Him. A knowledge of these things creates a feeling of comfort, security, and direction. Contributing to this is a knowledge of what He expects from me, and the spiritual confirmations I receive that let me know that He knows I am doing my best. When I am actively seeking to do what He expects of me I experience a very pure and simple form of happiness that erases worries and fears. I would consider this as the kind of happiness that we experience deep down that allows us to respond yes to the question, "Are you happy?" even when we have lost someone we love, we weigh 20lbs more than we want to, we have a huge project deadline coming up in a matter of days that we are not, and have no hope of being prepared for, and our houses have just been hit by a tornado (literally or figuratively). I think Billy Graham describes it nicely here, "The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will root deeply inside us and give inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus."

What does it really mean?

2011-01-20T13:22:00.000-08:00

Today I was having an imaginary gospel conversation with a co-worker of mine while folding the laundry. We talked about garments (guess the laundry did have something to do with this...), the temple, church appropriate attire, and all sorts of other things. I was really enjoying the chance to think about what I would really say in a situation where these types of topics would come up. But then my friend threw me a curve ball. She asked me if I was happy.

I smiled and said yes.

She asked me why.

And then I took the time to really think about it. And then I took the time to write about it. And then I learned some pretty neat things about what happiness is and why we experience it.

This is a topic I am personally interested in continuing to study, but I am also interested in the perspectives, ideas, knowledge, and understanding of others. As my family and friends, I am truly interested in the enlightenment you have on the topic, and I would love it if you would share it with me.

If you get the chance to think about it over the next few days and feel like writing down your thoughts, I would love to hear them.

My question is this: What is happiness? And what are the qualifications for experiencing true happiness?

If you choose to respond, please send it to my email, marissam54@gmail.com.

I plan to study more over the next few days and continue to share my thoughts on the matter fairly openly on this blog. Let me know if I can share your thoughts as well.

Some Funny Things...er, Some Things I Think Are Funny

2011-01-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through some old files on my computer and I found some gems!

This paragraph came in an email from MTC management when I was working there as a teacher:

Missionaries have been asking construction workers at the MTC for an opportunity to share the gospel with them. At the request of the construction superintendent and the Training administration, please instruct the missionaries not to ask to teach the subcontractors and construction workers. We appreciate the missionaries' desire to share the gospel and practice contacting, but for the sake of the construction projects and the contractors trying to complete them, help the missionaries direct their attention elsewhere.

This was an assignment for one of my classes on perspective, or something like that:

My name is Peter Pig, and today I wish to tell you the story of my semi-dysfunctional family. Once upon a time I lived at home with Mom, Dad, two lazy younger brothers, and some younger piglet sisters. Our house was small as it was, and with my brothers’ egos as big as they were, we could hardly even fit in the same room as each other! My dad died when we were teenagers so our family was poor and I had been taught to work hard for the things I wanted. With Dad gone, Mom couldn’t handle the whole brood and she put all of her time and focus into the piglets. My two younger brothers were almost intolerably lackadaisical! As the oldest, I was content to say at home and work to help support our family. Parker and Pat were not. Parker was the youngest boy, and had been the youngest for years before our sisters were born. He had major entitlement issues! For years before he could support himself he begged Mom and Dad for the money to move out. Mom finally gave him all she could, but instead of working on his own for enough to build himself a decent place he ran out and got suckered by the first guy he met. STRAW! Can you believe someone would be dumb enough to build a house out of straw!? He got the place built alright, but didn’t take much care with it at all. With him moving out and all, Pat also decided it was time. Pat is a little on the chubbier side and doesn’t have too much personality. He’s totally complacent and has never done a thing for himself his entire life. He didn’t even take the time to build a house, contrary to popular thought. Because he’s got some bulk to him, he just went and bullied someone else out of theirs. His house of sticks was drafty and falling apart, but he didn’t care very much…it took too much effort to make any home improvements. Well, one day, they got what was coming to them. In their teenage partying days, Pat and Parker used to antagonize the wolf that lived a couple of miles away. They’d go steal from him or rough up his house a little. That wolf was smart though…he was just biding his time. Once Pat and Parker were officially settled in, he went right over to show how glad he was to have them in the neighborhood. All it took was a huff, a puff, and down came both houses, just within a couple of days of each other. Parker was to prideful to run, he just shook his fist at the wolf and yelled obscenities till the wolf ate him. And Pat? He was too fat to run. He just rolled over and sarcastically said, “Eat me!”, not thinking it would really happen. After that, I made the determination that I would never be like them. I lived at home for a few more years and worked hard to save money. One day, just coming home from work, I ran into a man who sold bricks. We talked for a bit and I felt really good about making that investment. I bought my bricks and set to work. Every day well into the night I would work on building my house, and finally, a year after my project had started, my house was finished. I moved my mom and the piglets in with me, and we lived happily ever after. For a little while, anyway. Then that dumb wolf came back. He still felt he had a dept to repay so he set to work huffing and puffing away. He huffed and puffed himself into an extreme case of asthma and actually had to be carted off to the hospital after he blew himself out. After that we never had another problem again! This time we really did live happily ever after! The end.

I am Mrs. Pig, and I am here to tell the story of my poor family. I raised three sons and put everything I had into bringing them up right. Mr. Pig had some pretty bad health problems, so he couldn’t do much for us by way of financial support. After 10 years of illness, he finally died. My oldest son was a good boy, but much too critical of everyone else. He shouldered the burden of the family, but at the same time he shut everyone out of his life. He and his father were really close and he couldn’t help but feel betrayed at his passing. After that he was emotionally unreachable. He went through all of the motions of being a loving and supportive member of the family, but it was his harshness that filled our home with tension and drove Pat and Parker away. They couldn’t handle Peter’s constant criticism, especially when he got physically rough with them. Peter would never do anything to harm me or the piglets, but he is unbearably rough with the boys. Pat and Parker left with what they had managed to save up, which wasn’t much to live on at all. Pat was so destitute that he moved into an abandoned wood shack and didn’t even have the money to patch it up. At the edge of the neighborhood was the lair of the Big Bad Wolf. He usually left us alone, but once he realized the boys had moved out, he hunted after them and savagely took their lives. Oh, my poor boys! My dear, innocent sons! It took me years to move past this heinous loss. I can’t help but to blame myself for not doing more! Some kindly neighbors knew we were now in danger and he took pity on us, offering Peter a good job at his brick mill. For a year Peter slaved away building us a more secure home, and thanks to his efforts and our neighbor’s generosity we were able to build a house of brick to withstand the power of the wolf. The wolf came and went for years, blowing away at our home until one day he just got too old and his huffing and puffing no longer carried much power. He finally accepted defeat and left us alone. Now, 20 years later, I too am old. My remaining children have all married and left me, and I sit in my brick home day after day staring at their pictures and remembering. My life is neither happy, nor sad. Not good or bad. It just is. I wouldn’t call this happily ever after for sure, but I am content.

Wolfe, that’s my name. A lot of people get it confused with Wolf, which is where all my problems lie. Wolf is my father. He went around terrorizing and tormenting all those around him, which is why his name is feared everywhere he goes. The problem with being a Wolf, is that there is an unmistakable family resemblance. My father was an ambitious man and was never content to stick with what he had. He was raised on rabbit, but decided that he wanted more. That’s when he developed a taste for bacon. When we cubs were young he took to stalking out the Pig family. Poor Mr. Pig was so worried for his family that it ate away at his health till it killed him. Father never took his eyes off that family and when those two Pig boys moved out, well, Father moved in. After they were gone, Father decided he had had enough with that flavor, and wanted to move on to something bigger and better. He was fairly successful till the day he met Little Red and Grandma. Father was fast, and evil, but easy to outsmart. Some rocks in the belly was all it took. From that point on, I was an orphan. I stayed out of sight and kept to myself. I always felt so incredibly bad for the Pig family that I wanted nothing more to apologize and make things right between us. I kept my eye on them and waited for time to pass. My hope was that they would heal a little bit, and learn to trust again so that when they saw me, they would let me have a chance to say I was sorry. Finally, Peter Pig finished building their house of brick. At last, they had a safe and secure home, and I could come without them being worried I was going to go after them. The first day I went to visit was a miserably sad experience. They screamed, slammed the door, and yelled awful things to me. They thought I was my father, and they wouldn’t let me explain. To make matters worse, I have really bad allergies and I just couldn’t help my sneezing. I wasn’t sure what to do. I went back time and time again, but finally the day came when I gave up. It wasn’t my sin to correct, and my fragile heart can only take so much. My Father condemned me to this life of contempt. From now till forever, I live in the shadows while his name lives on. If only someone would listen. If only someone would give me a chance…

The Day I Thought It Was A Good Idea To Cook A 7-Course Potato Feast

2011-01-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

"What would have possessed her to do that?", any sane person might ask. It was a Christmas gift to one of our 14 year old friends who happens to really love potatoes. And I happen to have developed quite a craving for potatoes myself, so I thought it was a good idea. It would have been if it didn't require a large budget, 9 hours on my feet in the kitchen, and a fridge full of leftover potato dishes that we would have to eat every meal for the next week. But it was fun! And now we can say that we've done it! How many other people out there can claim ownership on a 7-course meal with every dish containing some kind of potato? Here's to the consumption of 15lbs 7.3oz of potatoes!!

Menu:
1. Appetizer: Seasoned Roasted Potatoes
2. Soup: Sweet Potato Soup
3. Salad: Indian Potato Salad
4. Palate Cleanser: Garlic Mashed Potatoes (not much of a palate cleanser! Maybe consistency wise...)
5. Fish: Shrimp Stuffed Potatoes
6. Red Meat or Poultry: Braised Pork with Au Gratin Potatoes
7. Dessert: Blackberries (So maybe we cheated with the last course...who, even those not in their right minds, really wants to eat sweet potato pudding after all that though!)

And then there was clean-up!

At Amanda's Request

2011-01-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

There was a time in my life when I couldn't get enough of myself in picture form. My freshman year of college comes to mind. All my closest friends from that year can attest to having their digital cameras stolen and memory cards filled with pictures of Yours Truly pulling stupid faces and trying to be cute. Its what I did on Saturday nights in the dorms when all my roommates who really were cute were out on dates. Guess the moral of that story is that taking stupid pictures of yourself doesn't make you any more appealing to guys.

The point I am leading up to is this: I USED to be really good at taking pictures of myself. These days I just feel really stupid taking pictures of myself. You might laugh to know how many times I shot and reshot all of these dumb poses trying to get the belly to look just right or how to keep my face from showing how much weight I have actually gained in all of the wrong places. There is a change of clothes in the background of these photos. Why? Because those clothes made me look lumpy. Oh the vainness!

So here I am. In all of my 32 weeks and 5 days of glory.

Speaking of lumpy...

This is the look that sums up the feelings I have every time I drop something I can't reach,
Or beg Jonathan to get something for me because I finally got comfortable and don't want to move,
Or find pictures of myself from before I was pregnant when I used to think I was a little chubby,
Or when I put on a shirt that no longer can contain my growing bosom,
Or when I buy something that costs too much (clothes) or is totally unhealthy (food) but justify it because I am pregnant,
Or during my new workout video when I tried to no avail to get my thighs to stay on the exercise ball without rolling onto it from my stomach...meaning I had to plan a side roll-on attack that kept ending fruitlessly in side roll-off attacks.

8 more weeks.

YIPPEE

Dreams

2010-12-31T05:48:00.000-08:00

Does anyone ever wonder why our subconscious is allowed so much free reign over our minds while we sleep? The last 9 hours have been a veritable disturbing dream buffet. I'm glad my pregnant body has finally decided it can cope with the amount of sleep it has received so that I am off the hook for whatever else the Dream Chef has cooked up for me!

It started about 1 a.m. last night after returning to bed from a pee break. Jonathan had sub[consciously] maneuvered his unresponsive form from the middle of the bed where he had subtly been encroaching on my sleeping space all night to a giant sleep spread covering ALL of the middle and ALL of my side of the bed. And BOTH of our pillows. I tried the usual push and poke routine, but without a red-hot cattle prod, his form refused to budge. So I did what nice wives do. I skipped the cattle prod (only a little hesitantly) and walked over to his side of the bed (which he never sleeps on because it has a slope to the middle of about y=-2x+3), cuddled up to his protruding butt, and tried to pull enough of his pancake-flat pillow from his deadened grasp to allow my head about 1 inch of vertical relief from the ever-present heartburn. I missed my nice, tall, memory foam pillow. But since Jonny's side had been completely abandoned, I at least had enough room to sleep for once!

y=-2x+3

I quickly fell asleep. Sand Man, another customer! The next thing I knew I found myself trapped in weird nightmare after weird nightmare after weird nightmare. I had enough presence of mind to be able to "Zoot Zoot Zaggle Splot" my way out, but it was exhausting. It was one of those nights where my sleep was restless and I spent hours of CONSCIOUS energy trying to put reigns on my untamed subconscious....which happened to have the energy level of a two year old...or Davis Cox on Christmas morning! :)

So I finally woke myself up for about the 50th time and I sat up and said a prayer. It is my firm testimony that God helps get rid of scary dreams. And He did. But not the way I expected.

Back to the Dream Buffet I wandered, and was invited to try a new dish...one made with every shred of weird I have ever encountered with my time spent in reality. At least this time I wasn't fighting demons that made me wake up every .8 seconds and was finally able to get a few hours of consecutive sleep. All I remember from this dream was the end, just before the alarm went off. Let me paint the picture:

I play the lead role as some sort of magical teenage weird person (note to self: don't watch the Sorcerer's Apprentice before bed and expect to not be a magical teenage weird person) . I get back from whatever adventure I was on that probably ruined a few Evil Villain's plans, and I crawled under the deck of some house that was supposed to be mine to get a little quiet time to process what had been happening. There were little orphan girls playing all over threatening to uncover my hiding place when from the front yard I see Evil Villain #1 start shooting at them with bows and arrows that had been skewered with raw chicken (note to self: if raw chicken becomes a thing that nightmares are made of...maybe we have some unresolved issues to work out). I watch a handful the little girls drop like flies. After Evil Villain 1 leaves, Evil Villain #2, (who happens to wear the face of a particularly challenging mission companion), unrelated to the first throughout the rest of the dream, shows up with her set of bows, arrows, and raw chicken and starts picking off the left over children. I just watch it from under the porch wondering why they are using raw chicken. After she leaves (both Villians happen to be mind and lip reading female witch people who pretended to be my friends for at least part of my dream), some guy who is supposed to play the dream-role of a character like Peeta from the Hunger Games shows up with his packages of raw chicken and starts patrolling the front of my house calling desperately for me. I am suddenly inside the house hiding from him, but peeking out of the window and ducking every time he looks up at me, where he knows I am. He telepathically tries to assure me of his love, and then...

... the alarm blissfully saves me from whatever other weirdness was about to befall.

I was exhausted. And a nap was in the plans from about the second I shut the alarm off. But I didn't want to sleep in the dark, so I sent Jonathan off to work and then sat at the kitchen table with my space heater and scriptures determined to stick out the fatigue until sunrise. The next thing I knew it was an hour later, my head was on my folded (and now tingly asleep) arms, my mouth was open and had been for quite some time judging from the puddle of drool just south of my open (and unread) scriptures, and I was groggily trying to recover from a dream about being gang-raped with a bag over my head. Geez.

So I opened all the window shades to the soggy dark grey morning and crawled into bed, only to find myself whirl-winded into another dream. Finally a non-scary one, this was the weirdest yet! Though I think I remember a lot of the important details, they don't fit together in any sort of retell-able way, other than to say the dream featured my hard-core middle school crush, my dad's one-room apartment in Utah, a handful of old middle school friends, a pop-up book that you could actually get sucked into that was sort of Enchanted-like (as in the movie Enchanted), and my job teaching at the MTC. And some tents. Lots of and lots of camping tents.

Thank my lucky stars the FedEx guy paged me out of that one!!

So here I am. Fully recovered, I think. Still a little tired, but nothing I can't survive until Jonny and I fall asleep early tonight because we are old fogies with jobs and fetuses that require a decent night of rest. So happy New Year everyone! Cheers to good dreams...or no dreams if you stay up partying all night!

Snow Day

2010-12-13T04:38:00.001-08:00

Growing up in Las Vegas I was never really privy to experiencing the elation that comes with having a snow day. I think the closest we got was getting a day off school because of flash flooding, but it happened to fall on a day I was out of town so I got jipped of that experience too!

As a 25yr old adult I have just gotten the phone call that ushered in the euphoria of my first snow day! I love nannying for a teacher! I am happy to report that as an adult, snow days are just as delightful as they seemed like they would be as a child.

Its too bad the hospital doesn't give snow days as well.

And last but not least, any idea what these two things have in common?

Complaint

2010-12-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

I just need to complain for a moment.

I think that registering for a baby/buying stuff as a first time mom is a completely painful experience. Hours poured into trying to research the best brands of nipples and boob creams and pacifiers and baby thermometers, none of which you can try out before you plunk down hundreds of dollars for those expensive miracle items that Target and Babies'R'Us has you convinced you will never be able to live without. And everyone has a different opinion and different experiences about what worked best for them. And you have no idea how big your baby is going to be, which could mean a wasted investment if you give birth to a 10lb-er, or a mad dash to the store if you wind up with something tiny because you were warned not to get too much in newborn sizes.

I am probably making this a more stressful thing than it needs to be.

I hated doing a wedding registry too.

I think its time to get off the computer and out of the house.

Houston, When it Rains, it Pours...

2010-12-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

...Sometimes literally. On things like pianos. Antique pianos. Antique heirloom pianos that you don't have renter's insurance on. Good for us!

Thursday morning everything was normal. Thursday night by 9pm there were water marks on the ceiling and one small spot of dripping water. Friday morning we awoke to this:

And right under that, we found this:

Apparently our building's water heater was located directly above the piano and it sprung a leak. The entire unit will need to be replaced sometime on Monday or Tuesday. Cool. Too bad we were the ones who had to discover the leak. Too bad we had to sacrifice our piano to the dying god of noisy water heaters.

Bright side:
- Now we have a reason to buy a nice piano someday that actually is in tune
- Now we have room to put the work-out equipment we are getting for Christmas since we just canceled our gym memberships
- Now we will have a new water heater that won't sound like shoes in the dryer, or popcorn popping, or fireworks going off or any other of the number of things people have told us our water heater sounded like
- Now we won't have to haul a 5000 ton piano all the way to Utah
- Now we will have more room in the moving truck for all the other things we are accumulating instead of getting rid of

Lesson learned: Insurance really is worth it. So we should make sure we have it. On everything of value. Like Jonathan. ....Hope this piano isn't sending us any messages like Caesar's soothsayer, "Beware the ides of March"...

...

While we are on the topic of soothsaying, our car does happen to share verbal warnings of imminent malfunction. It has been sharing such a warning with us for nigh unto...too many months. We have chosen to ignore the bleating, and then piercing shrieks crying for the alternator belt to be replaced, and have instead chosen an elective opportunity to practice having "joy in the journey". Like the journey home from the gas station in our neighbor's car after I was stranded when the transmission light went on and the car refused to start. And of course it happened on the night Jonny was on call by himself and couldn't leave the hospital. Oh the joy!!

I would have taken a picture, but there was no belt left to take a picture of. According to my rescuer there were a few small pieces of belt that he could see sandwiched in places they didn't belong, but nothing resembling a working alternator belt. Tell your friends the Vellingas have a really cool magic trick that they can do with cars! We can make alternator belts disappear into thin air!

Bright side:
- Now we have great personalized material for our next talk in Sacrament meeting!

Lesson learned:
- Alma 34:32-34

32For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.

33And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

34Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.

So things will be busy for the next few days! But regardless of our setbacks and Jonathan's crummy work rotation we really have been blessed to be quite chipper about everything. (Although the new clothes I just bought myself tonight may be a confounding factor!). Wish us luck! And no problems more major than the ones we are creating for ourselves!

It finally happened

2010-11-22T10:25:00.000-08:00

Drum roll....

We accepted a job! After months and months of endless deliberation (and complete avoidance), we have finally chosen to take "Phil's Job", and Jonny will go to work in a clinic in the Sandy/Draper area. He tells this story better than I do, so if you want the full version, give him a call. But here's the Cliff notes version:

June
We went on vacation. Vacation to Utah=job interviews. First up? Sandy with Phil, an HCA job. Lots of work, but incredible mentors, very tempting, but also mildly unappealing. Then Logan with the loan repayment gig. Initially sounded like a great idea. We actually both hated it. Third was Bountiful, same company as "Phil's job", but different location with a different job set-up. I thought it was a go, Jonathan thought it was a pass. Following Bountiful was Layton, which interview I did not attend, so of course it was Jonathan's favorite. Lots of money to be made there with a reduced work load. What's not to like, right? Last up was Provo for an IHC spot. We both enjoyed being taken to lunch at P.F. Changs but felt social pressure not to gobble up all of the lettuce wraps that ended up going to waste. That was the only thing we liked about that job. We left Utah completely undecided, but with a few months before a decision had to be made.

July-October
"Months and months of endless deliberation (and complete avoidance)", but we managed to weed out Logan and Provo within the first 2 weeks and Bountiful within the first two months. Layton was our, "this job makes a lot of sense but for some reason doesn't feel right" job, and "Phil's Job" by default (or gentle prompting) seemed like the avenue we would take.

Then came the wrench, which happens to be completely unrelated to the job market. It went like this: Marissa and Jonny got pregnant. They thought it was going to be a girl. But it was a boy. Jonny started to second guess his ability to sense direction regarding things of significant value. Like babies and gender, and as it so happens, jobs. So he started hunting again.

Enter new options: A clinic job for the U and another IHC job pretty much in any city he wanted it.

November
Crunch time. Sweat time. The U wouldn't get back to him about when he was being flown out. IHC called him every other day to beg him to come out. He went out. (Marissa had a violent and irrational emotional breakdown because she had less than 24 hours warning before he flew out and her emotions are no longer under her powers of possession). Jonny came back completely indoctrinated with IHC love. Then there was the IHC/Phil showdown, which encompassed many prayers, much fasting, a trip to the temple, lots of thought, frequent conversation, and seemingly endless phone calls as each group upped their offer to make Jonathan feel very loved and overwhelmed with how to possibly reconcile what he really wanted to do but felt sort of crummy about, with what he felt was right to do, but was the initially crummier job. Just when IHC could not make themselves any more appealing, Phil's group matched the offer, and Heavenly Father gave it His final stamp of approval. We chose Phil.

Look for us in Utah this summer!!

But that is not all that finally happened, nor is it the only job related decision that has come down in the last few weeks. I am happy to announce that I have finally quit working at my assisted living center!!!! After a consecutive 1 year and 2 months I finally felt like I was given the OK from Heaven to call it quits. With two other nannying jobs and a rapidly growing belly and a rabidly growing exhaustion and frustration at being scheduled to work EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, I put in my two weeks, worked my last two weekend shifts, and walked out of those doors a liberated person! Of course it was bittersweet, I have grown to love the people that I serve more than I ever thought I would, but it was one of those shifts that reminded me every moment why I was quitting. I cleaned up at least 6 rounds of poop on adult bottoms..and sometimes bedsheets. I pulled scabs of toe lint from between every one of one lady's 10 toes. I gave a lady a face shave, reminded her how to brush her teeth, and had to direct her on how to everything as simple as how to turn around. We required a staff of 5 but had a staff of 4, and one of those 4 workers was MIA for most of her shift and unreachable by phone. I left work an hour late. Choosing to work there when I did was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Choosing to quit working there was also one of the best decisions I have ever made!

I came home to this:

It cannot be said any better than that! :) (And thanks Diane for all the loot! Check your mail next week!)

Huston? We have a few problems!

2010-11-22T08:16:00.000-08:00

Frost

Car seat installation

Self Explanatory

FALLing in Love

2010-10-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

For the Love

2010-10-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

I just emotionally ate an entire box of Mac & Cheese at 10:00 at night. And I cuddled with Jonathan's dirty shirt that he wore all day and tried not to cry. He needs to be done working the night shift. I need to be done being pregnant.

If I ever really HATED someone...

2010-10-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

...I would give them a woodpecker. Especially if they were on a two week night rotation for work.

This is our bedroom window. With a screen that doesn't slide or come off.

This is the offender. Photo was taken at today's strike 1. I had to be Jonny's guard-dog and go outside to throw rocks at him 4 times in the last 2 hours so that the poor man could sleep.

Two of his four pieces of handiwork.

I hate him.

Watch the first two minutes of this clip if you want to empathize with us!

Follow the Prophet

2010-10-20T09:18:00.001-07:00

The other night I went to fetch this little beauty from the porch garden.

I washed him, and sliced him, and then paused to receive his message:

"Dear Jonathan and Marissa, Heaven smiles on your decision to be self-sufficient. Betcha you've never seen a pepper as cool as me at the grocery store! Dinners on me! Bon Appetit!"

Uh...duh.

2010-10-15T05:42:00.001-07:00

Are you ever completely astounded by your own ignorance? Like, floored that for some reason you didn't have the foresight to add up two very incompatible variables and see that the outcome could very well be disastrous?

I mean, there is ignorance like the time in middle school that the boy I liked called me on the phone while I was multitasking, and in response to his comment about me being rather quiet, rather than say something charming and coy like, "You make me speechless Rhett", I responded with, "I'm cleaning the rat cage". Or there is ignorance like the time in HS that a trusted friend of mine assured me that 'gullible' actually had been removed from the dictionary and I actually believed him for a substantial period of time. Or there is ignorance like that time in college that I fully believed my mom would financially back me up in my decision to deliberately fail my statistics class...twice. ...I guess what I am saying here is that I have a relatively apparent history of serious logic deficiency.

So with that as a preface, here is my most current outbreak of retarded thoughtlessness.

It started last week when I had the insatiable need to re-pot a few of my little root-bound houseplants. I did my internet research. I removed the root clumps and bugs from the old soil I was using that had been sitting and molding on my porch all summer. I used my bathtub (flashing red warning light) as my location of choice for dumping boiling water through my soil to kill all remaining bugs and bacteria (which I had gotten severely chastised for by my my SMART and KNOWLEDGEABLE husband because of an EXTREME LIKELIHOOD OF DRAIN CLOGGAGE). I used pinto beans (variable 1) to help with water drainage (variable 2) because I didn't have rocks or a separate plastic pot to keep my plants from developing root rot. I replanted, tucked my roots in cozy with new clean soil, gave them a nice big drink of water, and left my plants to live happily ever after in the sunshine of my windowsill.

Fast forward one week.

A leaf or two are turning yellow. A stem is completely popping out of the soil. My soil is COMPLETELY dry. My soil is erupting from the pot like a lava-less volcanic earthquake (if that makes any sense at all!). I am not quite so ignorant as to know that something wasn't right.

Any guesses?

If your guess looked something like this:

And smelled like something that would trigger this:

Then you are correct.

I had effectively started my very own rot and pinto garden. Wahoo! So in an enlightened moment of pure, brilliant, unadulterated genious, I CHOSE THE BATHROOM SINK to do my plant doctoring. Out came the pinto beans. Out came a wave of unleashed stink. Out came the vomit (almost). Out came the plant. Out came the dirt. Out of its storage bucket came the extra (and now very dry) dirt. Out came the water from the faucet to wet down my dry dirt. In went the decorative pebbles I fished out of one of my water plants. In went new, clean, wet soil. In went my plants. In went more soil. In to the drain went all the loose dirt from the sink (semi-accidental). In went some trickles of water that I thought would help things run on down, which in fact turned my dirt to mushy thick mud that caked the walls of my sink pipes. In no longer went any water or any dirt.

Out goes Jonathan's wife to the doghouse for not thinking through the consequences of gardening in a sink.

Should Marissa tell Jonathan that she did a very bad and ignorant thing and clogged the drain with dirt because she had to perform urgent plant surgery. Yes!

Should she wait until after their temple session tonight to tell him? Maybe that would be a good idea...

Jonny must be working the night shift again...

2010-10-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

...Why else would I break my 3 month silence to the blogging world?

I must make a confession: Jonny actually isn't working the night shift. He is sitting on the couch next to me. With his headphones in. Glued to his iphone. Watching his new obsession, Lonesome Dove. Too violent and 'old west' for me...I chose to pass. And blog instead. Except, I have a sneaky suspicion that by the time this post actually gets posted it will be at least a week from now, in which case Jonathan will be working the night shift. So I'm not really stretching the title of this blog too far.

We have some long overdue news to share!

Yep, that's right! If you haven't heard yet, sorry its through a blog. But yes, we are pregnant. Yay! I hit 20 weeks yesterday, so we are excited to have less to go than what we've gone, even if it is only by a day. About two weeks ago I started feeling the baby kicking, and about one week ago "The Baby" was officially deemed a man-child. We are thrilled!

Since I haven't blogged since June, some pictures will have to suffice for covering (in small part) the activities of the summer. Unfortunately I was a horrible picture taker and have very few photos to aid me in documentation.

We went to DC...

And got a tour of the Capital from my MTC companion...

And stayed with my cousin Regina and her husband Bubba. They are really tall.

While there we attended a Boyd family reunion, my late grandmother's family, none of whom I had ever met, seen pictures of, or even really heard the names of. It was an incredible experience. It was funny how people I had no clue existed hours before I met them felt instantly like family. They took us in immediately, and were excited to finally meet some of my grandmother's decedents. I fell in love with all of them, and wish more than anything to stay actively involved in that side of my family. This, sadly, is something I don't have pictures of.

After DC Jonathan and I landed in Utah for some Vellinga fun and some job interviews. I have some cute videos that won't load within this century, so sadly, no images for this part of the trip. The interviews went well, but even months afterward, we are still in the process of figuring out which location will be right for us. We are pretty sure it will be in Utah though. 90% sure. Except on bad days. Then I want to stay in Ann Arbor forever. But we will probably be in Utah. More on that when there is more to share!

After Utah we went to Tahoe for a Blatter (my mom's side) family reunion. Again, a great time. Lots of family, lots of talking about being pregnant, (because once you tell one family member at a family reunion its not long before you are telling hundreds more), and unfortunately lots of that research paper that I never finished from my last most pathetic blog post. So here is a picture of my grandparents, my mom, and lots of aunts.

After vacationing we came home and detoxed. Well, I detoxed while Jonathan went back to work. And then I went on vacation again. Hooray for Education Week!

And then I started a few new jobs (nannying). And kept the old one (Assisted Living). And didn't work on my English class. But did find a brilliant new to-do list system so that I could start doing all the things that could make for good excuses for not doing my English class. And decided to go on a TV/movie fast for all of September, so that I would have time to do all the things on my to-do list! Actually, that was purely a by-product, the main goal was to spend more time with Jonathan and to get our priorities lined up right again. I would say we were successful!

This is us at a car show after getting cider, cool squash, and awesome donuts and apple butter at a local cider mill. GREAT DAY!!

And last but not least, my pride and joy of this summer has been my garden. Because I was out of town so much I missed taking pictures of it at its peak, but here's what it looks like now.

Tomatoes

Basil

Bell Peppers

YUM

Things are great and life is good! The end.

I'm Blue Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die

2010-06-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

Today isn't really an unhappy day. It has been a really great day with a sad turn at the end. Not even really sad. Well, yes, it is sad. And I am a wuss. Oh well, I have come to terms with it. Here are the lyrics to the blues song I am dedicating to tonight:

...

It was too hard to think of enough lyrics to make a blues song that sounded good that incorporated all by bluesy feelings. Instead I'll give you a list of the titles of the songs I'll be singing someday when I am a professional Patheticist!

1. I've got the Jonnys-at-work-all-night-and-I'm-stuck-at-home-alone blues
2. I've got the bloody-cut-pinky-finger-that-means-I-can't-press-the-"A"-key-on-the-keyboard blues
3. I've got the-sink-is-full-of-grody-dishes-and-smelly-left-over-food-sludge blues
4. I've got the I-have-to-write-a-stinky-research-paper-tomorrow blues

(Sad turn) Sitting alone in a dirty house on a Sunday night with only the prospect of crawling into a cold bed in the dark by myself and waking up to a dirty research paper the next morning has a powerful negative effect on one's sense of perspective! And on proper sentence structure...

I really don't deserve to be so whiny. I really only do it for attention. But I hate it when people feel sorry for me because I know that I just make mild situations sound dire because I like using dramatic words. I really am just craving someone to tell me to man up and snap out of it, I think! I'm speaking of school right now, almost exclusively. I think I deserve to be a little whiny about missing Jonathan. :)

School is killing me. (A highly dramatized statement that I repeat frequently to myself to the point that I almost believe it). I am on my last two classes before graduating.
Class 1: Family Resiliency. Going swimmingly, except for the ever-feared and procrastinated research paper. That is my very last assignment, which I HAVE to finish before leaving town Thursday morning. It won't be too bad if I can force myself to keep my butt in my chair and my mouse from wandering over to check my email and blogs for the 50th compulsive time in one hour. (I tallied myself one day. I refuse to report my accurate results!) Then I will take my final immediately upon vacation return, and I will be done forever! MuA HA HA!
Class 2: English. Makes me question every shred of scholastic aptitude that I ever thought I possessed. I poured (sadly) DAYS into writing a 1200 word autobiography (albeit the subject wasn't too thrilling), and I only pulled a B+. Freak. So I redoubled my efforts and spent (sadly) WEEKS on putting together an application package for a job that I already had. I pulled a B+ with the comment "You can do better". Thanks Mr. Teacher Jerk. As you can tell, I'm still not over it. Then I started working on assignment #3, a literary review proposal, which meant I poured (sadly) MONTHS into researching different types of literary criticism, previewing stacks of potential literature, battling daily, and sometimes hourly emotional breakdowns, and trekking through The Once and Future King--a book I grew both to love and despise that made me cry chocking sobs on an airplane. (Another extreme run-on sentence...maybe my English teacher is on to something) Anyway, as I sat down to actually write my proposal I realized that I couldn't. I just didn't have the experience and knowledge yet. To have such a revelation at assignment #3 with only 2 months left before my class expired (post extension), I promptly sunk into melt-down mode. I spent 30 minutes looking over what future trips to Purgatory this class had planned for me and I was pulled even farther into the absolute pit of despair. Many prayers, pleading apologies to the Lord, Jonathan, and myself, tears, and phone calls later I have found a solution. Second extensions, as it turns out, are not granted for laziness combined with a normal busy life. So I will purchase the class again. All $440 of it. (See where the apologizing to Jonathan came in?) This time, however, I will complete most of the assignments before I invest all that money so that I know I will finish. Because I am repeating the same class, even though it is far out of my league, I have already done some of the work, I already have all the class materials, I know what work I have left to do, and I am a much wiser woman as a result of my experience. I hope. So that is that.

It is really annoying to only be able to type with 9 fingers. I sliced my pinky in half trying to cut tomatoes for a salad tonight. Oh, woe is me.

On a happier note, my garden is growing beautifully, albeit months behind schedule. Good thing it is only a porch garden. Tomatoes, Basil, and Bell Peppers, in that order. Here's some pictures:

And here are some other fun pictures of what we've been up to lately.

This was after a stake youth activity. Jonathan and I were asked to participate in their human "Where's Waldo" game: ward members dress up and go "hide" in a very public "anything goes" part of campus. We got really into it, spent more money than we should have, but absolutely loved our new wardrobe and have worn it several times since. There were other, better pictures taken by someone else that are posted on my facebook, but call me an idiot, I can't figure out how to pull them off, save them to Jonathan's mac, and post them here. I tried even posting it as a web linked picture, but it didn't work. If you are tempted to explain it to me, unless it is really easy it is probably a lost cause, so you should forget about it! :) Anyway, the pictures:

This last picture is Jonathan improvising a kitchen scale. We have not bitten the bullet and bought one yet, so when it becomes imperative that we use one, we simply pull out the bathroom scale and manhandle our food, as you see demonstrated here:

Pretty sweet methodology, huh!

So my last bit of post are these videos, one of which is taking a lifetime to load, and I really hope that they both play. They probably won't though, because my videos like to thwart me like that. This amazing cinematography was shot when I was home alone (thanks be to Jonny's cursed night shift rotation) for my first tornado warning (that I was awake for anyway). Normally these types of things don't freak me out, but I guess being alone was really getting to me that night. I called my mom for moral support and she started our conversation with, "I survived a tornado once when I was a kid. It was really scary." Thanks mom. After I laid out the rules for how to talk to freaked-out emotional women alone in serious storms our conversation got a lot better! If you make it through all the boring lightning, notice in one of these I verbally reference my "viewers"--who do I think I am, a world renown blogger? Whatever. And I really hope my voice doesn't really sound like it does in the videos...call me Master Monotone.

Anyway, life is good. I am excited for Thursday when I go on vacation with my husband for 15 whole days. My house will be spotlessly clean, my finger will be healed, and my research paper finished! With those happy thoughts, adieu!

Of Late

2010-05-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Life has been good for us, but busy. We work all the time in some form or another, be it through our jobs, our church callings, or school, or any number of other things. Here, in no particular order, other than the order I think of them in, is a list of what we have been up to for the last few months.

-- I just finished two of my classes, Biology of Exercise and Philosophy, and got an A in both. I have two more, Family Resiliency and English for English majors (of which I am not), that will end in August. Resiliency is manageable, but English is kicking my trash. I am taking them through Independent Study at BYU, and they are my last 2 classes before graduating. They expire in August, which means my summer will be tormented by research papers and literary analysis. But then I'll be done. Forever. Hallelujah!

-- As the ward Activities Committee Co-chairs we hosted a ward talent show. It was awesome! We got lots of great comments and emails later about what a success it was. It really brought the ward members together and a great time was had by all. Jonny and his friend Ned played some mean guitar and sang a Pink Floyd song, we had a two-year-old boy steal the show with the entire lyrics to Twist and Shout (complete with some twisting) memorized, we had a home-made rootbeer demonstration and tasting, we had a real Brazillian band come and play, tons of piano duets and solos, an authentic and professional Latin love song singer (complete with costume), some hula hooping, juggling, children dancing--the list goes on! We wanted everyone to participate, so we had tables set up around the room for people with displayable talents to be able to bring in things that they have done. We saw quilts, egg carvings, wood carvings, marathon and race medals, scrapbooks, children's artwork, and fancy cake decorating. Lastly, which was actually firstly, we had a video collection of stupid body tricks or talents that were under a minute long. One lady shoved an entire toothpick up her nose. A man could make his tongue play with his uvula like it was someone punching a punching bag. We had a baby making cute baby noises, a boy who could "sew" his lips, and me, whose amazing talent was writing with both my hands simultaneously.

-- Jonathan has had a few really sweet months of work doing consults. He leaves around 8 am and is usually home by 5:30 or 6. It is so wonderful to have him around!

-- My grandmother was diagnosed with colon cancer two months ago and died a week and a half ago. She had had Alzheimer's disease for the last 8 years which had taken most of her memory, so it was a blessing that she went quickly. I was able to go back and visit with her and my grandfather just before things got bad. My dad's sister and her family were able to come up from CA, and I was able to spend time with them for the first time since I was a senior in HS. It was a great trip, and new family doors were opened as others were closed. My testimony of the Plan of Salvation is stronger than ever.

-- The weather here is fantastic! I love love love love love Ann Arbor. I am trying my hand at growing tomatoes.

-- My mom came to town last week. I was on a major hormonal trip and was an awful stressed-out homework-doing beast. She and Jonathan bonded while I worked on emotion moderation! After a few days the storm calmed and we had some really good quality time together. It was great to have her come out. We love having visitors! She is a huge work-out junkie and has amazing muscles. She is in better shape at 50 than I am in at 24. Sick! I suggested an arm wrestling duel between Jonathan and Mom. It was fun to be a spectator! Jonathan preserved his manhood and won by a landslide, but Mom did put up a good fight!

-- Jonathan came home one day a few weeks ago absolutely beaming. I knew something was up! He handed me his fancy smancy iphone with an email pulled up from the Young Mens president in our ward. His email made some comment about "hoping he wasn't putting his foot in his email mouth", and then he welcomed Jonathan into the ranks of the Young Men group. As soon as I finished reading the email Jonny lept in the air and started doing a victory dance with shouts of acclamation and praise for all things good and merciful. I have almost never seen him so happy! The next Sunday the bishopric gave him the official call, and a week later he was "officially" released from the Activities Committee and sustained as a YM teacher. He is thrilled, but he knows he will now be pulling double duty: the ward might let him off the Activities Committee, but his wife sure wont!

-- For Mother's day Jonathan got a call at 6:30 am that he didn't have to go in to work. Hooray!! He made me cinnamon rolls for breakfast and our favorite Thai goop for dinner. I even got his famous Strawberry cake for dessert. I didn't have to plan the meal, shop for the ingredients, cook a single thing, or clean up the dishes! Man I've got it good!

Life is good! We are very happy and are loving this time in our lives.

Addendum

2010-04-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Actually, the title of this blog doesn't quite fit, it was just the first word that came to my mind. We just finished a post we started months ago, but it was published farther down on the list than we thought. Scroll down to read it, if you care to finish our lengthy travelogue of Taiwan. Travelogue of the Century: The End, posted in January.

The Monkey Video

2010-04-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

I lied. This is the last post about Taiwan!

What I do when I am supposed to be doing research...

2010-03-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

It has been an ugly month. Each day there is research paper time. Each day it passes with little progress. Each day my assignment deadline comes nearer. Each day my procrastination is possibly costing me a higher price. Each day I feel these feelings. Today I expressed them.

This was my pre-writing activity for the day:

I feel a block. Every time I think about writing this paper a huge weight comes and sits on my brain and squashes any potential it has for production. It’s as if the Great Wall of China was dividing my brain reserves from the research topic. The walls are too high, the distance too long. There is no way to reconcile the two necessary pieces, and while I despair the deadline monster rears his ugly gray head and gnashes his sharp steal teeth. His roar causes panic, and panic stops progress. I feel as if I am drowning in a swamp of unsuccessful attempts. The stress is strangling me like a boa constrictor tightening around my neck. Each day, each hour, each minute that I stare at the blank computer screen frustration mounts and the wall grows stronger. It is forged thick with excuses, long with procrastination, and high with hopelessness. My loathing for research causes its foundation to sink ever deeper. And all the while the panic rises. The stress, the overwhelming stress.

What is my topic? Stress. Ironic? Yes.

Travelogue of the Century: Lodging

2010-02-07T12:42:00.000-08:00

So now we're on to lodging. We stayed in 3 different places, but only one comes with a special story.

Once upon a time Jonny and Marissa wanted to go to Taiwan to visit their friends. They tried to book a hotel online, but for the city they wanted to stay in absolutely no hotels were listed. After much searching and many prayers Marissa found some random guy's travel assessment that had the phone number to a hotel in Ping Dong. "Good enough" she hoped as she wrote down the number to call from Taiwan. The night of the stinky tofu battle our member friend said she would help the desperate travelers make a reservation. Except she couldn't, because the phone number was no good. 20 minutes and lots of networking later, and sealed with the words, "Just give us our cheapest option," the sleepy travelers were satisfied with their travel plans and headed off to slumber.

A few days, a train ride, and a helpful taxi driver later Jonny and Marissa found themselves pulling into the drive-thru hotel check-in counter at the Holland Motel. "Odd," they both thought fleetingly, but then speaking more Chinese was required and the language strain pushed out any and all other thoughts! The lady who checked them in gave them the price for only one night, even though they had reserved a room for three. So they asked her how much for three and she asked them, "Don't you want to see the room first?" Again, due to the mental energy it took to communicate, Marissa was not overly concerned about this comment. "No, we're okay, we'll pay for all three nights now." Smile, hand over money, receive smile, wave, drive. The taxi pulled around the little driveway-street and stopped in front of room 111. The only entrance was through the garage. "Hmmm," the couple thought, "Nowhere in Taiwan has parking, how in the world could this motel have personal hidden parking spots?" They soon found out!

So this place was...unique. Lets just say that staying there was a special experience given to us just for story telling purposes. Imagine Taiwan weird meets one night stand.

It was racy...

Condom dispenser on the wall next to the bed...

It was floral...

It was totally one of those scandalous places that people go with prostitutes or to cheat on their spouses.

It was totally freaking nasty sweet! The hotel people brought us fuzzy meat sandwiches and green tea juice boxes every morning for breakfast and left them in a bag at the door. One night we came home to a screeching lizard on the wall. The sheets had holes all over them. Ants were a part of the decor. We had to ask them to come and clean the room. We got a discount for actually being married. I love Taiwan!

And that concludes all of our funny lodging stories. Thank heaven! Here is another stupid video for your viewing pleasure:

Grateful

2010-01-28T20:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight I came home 30 minutes late from work. Then I realized I had forgotten something and had to drive all the way back, and then all the way home again. I didn't get home until 9:40pm, an hour later than I should have been home. Jonathan is working the night shift and I hate coming home to a sad, dark, empty house. Especially when I have hours of biology homework to catch up on. I miss him and it makes me sad. I was wallowing in empty-house homework induced depression. But then I saw that our bed was made (pretty- with the sheets straight and the pillows in the right place) for the first time all week--Jonny did it. And then I saw that all the dishes that I had left from last night's dinner were done--Jonny did it. And then I saw the movie Nacho Libre in the trash can--Jonny did it (without any recent encouragement). :) Then Jonny called me from work and asked me questions about the taxes--Jonny is doing them. And then I realized how extremely lucky I am to have married such a good and wonderful and thoughtful and caring and helpful man. He loves me, and every day he shows me over and over and over. I have been so blessed, and I am so grateful to be married to be married to my favorite person on earth.